Virtual Front Porch Pages

Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Midseason Report

With Season 8 now at the halfway point, I'm checking in on how various storylines are unfolding. It's been quite an interesting campaign so far!

I'm not surprised to find the Victories in first place at 7-1-2 with a league-leading +13 goal differential. However, I've been stunned by the one-eighty turnaround of the Bearcats, who have clawed their way to second place at 5-1-4; they're also coming by those points honestly, as their differential is a solid +7. How does a team that won two out of twenty games in its inaugural season improve so quickly? Mostly by using different -- by which I mean better -- players! Last year's trade-deadline acquisition Scotty Davidson (6 G, 7 A, +5), rookie star Joe Malone (6 G, 6 A, +5), and offseason pickup Graham Drinkwater (4 G 3 A, +7) are leading the charge. 

I can't go throwing around goal and assist totals without mentioning the scoring race. I expected the Vics' Newsy Lalonde to run roughshod over the league en route to a second storing title and potentially a first Forward MVP trophy, but the third-year superstar has been overshadowed by one of the league's golden oldies, One-Eye Frank McGee. McGee is the league's all-time leader in goals scored and a two-time Forward MVP, but the second of those trophies came way back in Season 3. McGee has been a good but not great contributor to the Comets' offense in recent seasons, and I thought his best days were behind him. Not so! With eleven goals in ten games (no one else has more than seven), McGee is delivering a vintage performance. If he wants more hardware, he'll have competition from teammates George Richardson and Dick Irvin, the aforementioned Lalonde and Davidson, along with the Bulldogs' Tommy Dunderdale and the Millionaires' Duke Keats, but I'm really enjoying McGee's resurgence. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Time Is Not On My Side

It turns out that I'm late to the party with Doctor Who Exterminate! The Miniatures Game, as the line is being cancelled at the end of the year due to the BBC electing not to renew Warlord's license to produce Who games. Yikes! Fortunately, I'm not too late, and although my copy of the core game has yet to arrive, I've already placed an order for ALL THEIR ICE WARRIORS. Well, maybe not all, but enough to put a nice little army together. They have a couple of promotional offers going on now, so I'll take advantage of the deals before the line is formally retired. I have my eye on a couple of Doctor and companion sets as well...

Friday, October 28, 2022

Doctor Who Exterminate! The Miniatures Game

I've nearly completed painting the free Warhammer Age of Sigmar set that came as a result of our Warhammer+ membership and, of course, I'm still dreading the massive array of 3D-printed buildings I have yet to tackle. (At least I've been smart enough not to print any more buildings!) 

How else can I procrastinate? Why not invest in an entirely new wargame and paint all of those miniatures first?! Done! 

I just ordered a copy of  the rather awkwardly titled Doctor Who Exterminate! The Miniatures Game from Warlord Games. The starter set has plastic Daleks and Cybermen, but the rest of the line appears to be pewter. I'd prefer plastic, but I'm very keen on staging some cool Whoniverse battles, so if the minis need to be metal, fair enough. I don't know anything about the game stats and how the individual factions play, but I will most likely look to field a strike team of my beloved Ice Warriors. Maybe a team-up between those stolid Martians and Earth's plucky UNIT troopers against a massive Dalek invasion? 

Friday, October 21, 2022

Cats on the Prowl!

Last season, the expansion Bearcats went 2-11-7. Rookie of the Year goaltender Hap Holmes showed flashes of brilliance, but two wins in twenty games is...well...two wins in twenty games. Late in their inaugural campaign, the Cats traded for power forward Scotty Davidson and then in the offseason they  swapped captain Billy Gilmour for offensive defenseman Graham Drinkwater. They also used the first overall pick to draft "Phantom" Joe Malone, a rookie winger with unlimited potential. With an improved roster, the Cats looked to take a step forward in their second campaign.

A step? More like a pounce! The Cats surpassed their year-one win total after precisely three games and now sit in sole possession of first place at 3-0-2 at the one-quarter mark of the season. How are they doing it? Their offense (2.80 goals per game) and power play (a league-worst 17.65%) are modest improvements over last season, but the real reason is goal prevention, where their 1.60 goals allowed per game and 87.50% penalty kill are both ranked second in the league. A much-improved Holmes has a lot to do with that. 

Are they truly the league's best team? I don't think they'll be in first place at the end of the regular season, but I definitely see them making the playoffs. And with Holmes playing at such an elite level, who knows? Maybe they run the table and follow in the footsteps of the previous expansion team, the Millionaires, who won the Creighton Cup in just their second season of play.

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

So...many...buildings...

We've made a lot of 28mm-scale buildings with our 3D printer. A lot. The intent is to use all this 3D terrain for modern-setting campaigns in the Front Porch multiverse. For example, our Tales of the Ternion superhero campaign currently uses flat maps, but it's just crying out for a more dynamic environment to host all the larger-than-life action of characters who can scale walls, leap over buildings, hurl vehicles down the street, etc. I'm also knee-deep in narrative for a spinoff campaign that involves a zombie outbreak in a sleepy little town. With scores of zombie minis from Zombicide, the vast array of 3D buildings we've printed, and custom hero minis from Hero Forge, it's going to have absolutely blockbuster visuals! 

There's only one problem: I have to paint all this stuff!

Looking at the gargantuan pile of gray plastic in the corner of our game room actually fills me with anxiety. First-world problems, I know, but I'm kind of freaking out about how long it's going to take to paint these buildings. I'm also looking for any excuse to put it off, so various other paint projects keep moving to the head of the line. Just yesterday, in fact, I received the latest free mini that comes with my Warhammer+ subscription; it's a chaos sorcerer (with a bevy of cute-yet-evil little familiars!) for Warhammer Age of Sigmar, but I'll repurpose it for our Shattered Realm D&D campaign. After that? Well, do I have any other unpainted models besides the buildings...?

Friday, October 7, 2022

Phantom Joe

I'm now underway with another season of historical hockey, and each of the six teams has played one game apiece. Last night featured the Millionaires visiting the Bearcats. As an expansion team last year, the Bearcats went 2-11-7, and one of the few bright spots was securing the first overall pick in the entry draft. They used that selection to nab left wing Joe Malone, a phenomenal offensive talent. Malone struggled for much of his debut, however, and the Millionaires led the Cats 2-0 after two periods. Rookie defenseman Harry Cameron led the way for the Millies with a goal and an assist, stealing Malone's thunder. In the third, two goals in thirty seconds lifted the Cats into a 2-2 tie, and it looked like the game would end in a draw. Then, in the closing seconds, Harry Trihey's slick pass found Malone in the slot, and the rookie snapped the puck past new Millies goaltender Riley Hern to give the hometown Bearcats a stunning come-from-behind win. Phantom Joe, as he was called in real life, had just appeared out of nowhere to record the winning tally after over 59 minutes of frustration. I'm excited to watch his (and Cameron's) rookie season unfold!

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

Lego D&D

Check this out! D&D as a Lego Ideas set!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Six Questions

I have a new team -- the undead! -- lined up for my next season of Blitz Bowl, but I have to admit that I'm longing to get back on the ice. I'm leaning toward bumping Blitz for Season 8 of my historical Strat-O-Matic hockey league. Below are six burning questions, one for each team!
  • Bearcats: With top-ranked rookie Joe Malone and perhaps some better luck for promising goaltender Hap Holmes, can the Bearcats contend for a playoff spot in their second season of play?
  • Bulldogs: Goaltender Paddy Moran carried this team and covered up a lot of poor play by the guys in front of him. Can Gord Roberts, Bruce Stuart, Frank Patrick, and all the underperforming Dogs return to form?
  • Comets: After a first-place finish and career years from Forward MVP Blair Russell and Defenseman MVP Mike Grant, can the Comets rebound from their playoff collapse and dethrone the Vics?
  • Millionaires: Can new netminder Riley Hern, a two-time Goaltender MVP, help the Millies recover from a league-worst -20 goal differential and 3.30 goals against per game? 
  • Thistles: Will trading for former Playoff MVP Hugh Lehman (their third goaltender in eight seasons) help the Thistles end their curse and win their first-ever Creighton Cup?
  • Victorias: After winning titles in Seasons 6 and 7, will the lordly Vics pull off a threepeat behind superstars Cyclone Taylor and Newsy Lalonde?

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Expert Classes

Another batch of One D&D playtest rules dropped today! Hot takes incoming!
  • Semantics: These rules focus on three character classes -- the Bard, Ranger, and Rogue. These three vagabonds now belong to a group called Experts. We've seen the term "expert" in recent years as part of the nifty Sidekick rules. Here, the Experts are billed as polymaths who are good at a variety of things and have aspects of other classes. Pardon my pedantry, but isn't that kind of the opposite of what "expert" means? To me, the Fighter is an "expert" because he does one thing really well. He's an expert at fighting. The Bard, in contrast, is a jack-of-all trades but not an expert at any of them. Anyway, semantics aside, we're seeing a bit more 4e influence here with classes grouped into four categories (Expert, Mage, Priest, and Warrior) arranged around party roles.
  • Inspiration: Bards now use their Inspiration die to add to a failed d20 roll (a minor but crucial change to the previous rule where the recipient of the die had to add it before learning the success or failure of the roll) and can now use the die to provide minor healing. That's cool, but it appears that the Bard's healing capabilities were nerfed in other ways, such as the removal of direct access to the uber-handy Cure Wounds spell.
  • More semantics: The doc includes references to Cantrips and 0-Level spells. They're the same thing, I assume?
  • Ranger: The Ranger has always been problematic in 5e, and Wizards has been tinkering with this class a lot over the years. I saw a beefed-up Hunter's Mark to provide for consistent (though minor) extra damage. There was also a super fun update to the now-14th-level Superior Hunter's Defense, which is now like Uncanny Dodge but then redirects the other half of the damage to another creature (other than the attacker) within 5 feet of the Ranger. Full disclosure: Some of the Ranger updates I saw may already be canon, as I haven't kept up fully with the latest 5e rulebooks. 
  • Rogue: Did they really need any tweaks? I was pretty stunned to see the 13th-level Subtle Strikes class ability, which provides advantage on attack rolls against any creature within 5 feet of a non-incapacitated ally of the Rogue. Yikes! Broken!!
  • Rules Updates: There are lots and lots of small or not-so-small rules changes. Shortswords are now simple weapons, the Long Rest now restores all lost Hit Dice (not half). I don't have strong opinions about any given rule change, but as they start to pile up, One D&D is feeling more and more like a new edition and not just a refresh of 5e...

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Season 8 Awards

Time to wrap up Season 8 with the individual awards!

Position Player MVP: Nap Lajoie, Blue Legs
It was a crowded field, but this year's MVP is Nap Lajoie, who was the all-around best position player. He tied with George Davis for the league lead in homers (four) and was at or near top of many offensive categories along with Fred Clarke of the Resolutes, Roger Connor of the Canaries, and Cap Anson of the Haymakers. What gave Lajoie the edge was defense; as a second baseman, Lajoie provided significant value with his glove, in contrast to the aforementioned sluggers. Ironically, Lajoie was only league-average at his position, but it was also the best season ever for second baseman defense, and in a different campaign his defensive metrics might have led the league.

Pitcher MVP: Cy Young, Haymakers
Last year, the Haymakers' Amos Rusie became the first reliever to win this award; in all honesty, he could easily have won it this year too. In the best season we've ever had for relief pitchers, Joe McGinnity of the Resolutes and Vic Willis of the Blue Legs joined Rusie in a trio of absolutely dominant bullpen stars. The MVP award, however, goes to the pitcher who provided far and away the most total value. Cy Young pitched a league-high 92 innings over 11 starts, posting a 7-1 record and a 2.05 ERA that was more than a run better than any other starter. The icing on the cake was that he also pitched the first no-hitter in league history (on Opening Day!) and became just the third pitcher to hit a home run. 

Playoff MVP: Tim Keefe, Blue Legs
Nap Lajoie drove in a lot of runs and Mike "King" Kelly was phenomenal at the plate as well as behind it, but the unequivocal MVP of this series was starting pitcher Tim Keefe. The Legs paid a steep price to pry this ace away from the Canaries, but he delivered in every way -- especially in the championship series. Keefe went 2-0 with a 1.59 ERA in 17 innings pitched to help the Blue Legs end their curse.

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Creighton Cup Finals, Game 3

I won't bury the lede: The Blue Legs are cursed no more! Here's how it went down...

For Game 3, the series shifted to the Resolutes' park. Down two games to none, their backs were to the wall. In a rematch of Game 1, they sent Christy Mathewson to face Tim Keefe.

This time, it was the Legs who scored first. Keeler led off the game with a single and promptly stole second. He later scored on King Kelly's two-out single. 

It was clear that Keefe wouldn't need much run support. He cruised through the first three innings, retiring the first nine batters in order. Pete Hill drew a leadoff walk in the bottom of the fourth, but Kelly threw him out on an attempted steal. Kelly would throw Hill out again in the sixth, and throughout the series was actually better at nabbing would-be base thieves than his more accomplished rival, Connie Mack.

In the top of the sixth, Dan Brouthers, Kelly, and Sam Crawford hit three consecutive singles, giving the Legs a vital insurance run. They got another one in the seventh, when shortstop Monte Ward drew a walk and made it to second on Keefe's sacrifice. A two-out single from Nap Lajoie brought Ward home to make it 3-0. 

As the end of their championship hopes drew nearer, the Resolutes continued to battle. Fred Clarke led off the bottom of the seventh with a double. He scored several batters later on a single by pinch-hitter Jim O'Rourke to cut the deficit to two. 

Joe McGinnity took over for Mathewson in the eighth. With his team down 3-1, he was tasked with holding the line and preventing any further damage. The veteran closer threw two innings of scoreless relief to do his part. His teammates, however, were unable to mount a comeback. 

Keefe cruised through the eighth and then turned the ball over to Vic Willis. It was the star reliever's first appearance in the series, and he was shaky. A single to Clarke and a walk to Grant put two runners on with nobody out. Now with the winning run at the plate, the Resolutes sought to deliver the knockout blow. John McGraw popped out, however, and then Mack bounced a lazy grounder to short. Ward to Lajoie to Brouthers for a 6-4-3 double play. Game over, curse over. The Blue Legs are champions once more!

Saturday, September 24, 2022

Creighton Cup Finals, Game 2

In Game 2, the Blue Legs put the ball into the hands of veteran Al Spalding, whose breakout season moved him past longtime ace Old Hoss Radbourn on the team's depth chart. The Resolutes countered with curveball specialist (and power hitter!) John Clarkson.

Both pitchers were sharp, generating groundball outs and preventing hard contact. The game was scoreless until the top of the third, when John McGraw singled, narrowly stole second, and scored on Pete Hill's single. Once again, the Resolutes struck first, but once again the Blue Legs would respond quickly.

In the bottom of the frame, Spalding smacked a single to help his own cause. With one on and two out, Nap Lajoie drove in the home team's first run -- for the second straight game -- with a booming triple. Dan Brouthers then plated Lajoie with a single, giving the Legs a 2-1 lead.

The Blue Legs would add to their advantage in the fifth. Following a leadoff triple from Willie Keeler, Nap Lajoie lofted a sacrifice fly to make it 3-1. Spalding was cruising, and the home fans were getting louder with every harmless grounder he induced. 

One of those grounders, however, almost came back to haunt them. With one out in the sixth, sure-handed third baseman Jimmy Collins somehow muffed a Pete Hill chopper, giving the Resolutes a rare baserunner. The speedy Hill attempted to swipe second, but Mike "King" Kelly made a perfect throw to eliminate the threat.

It was still 3-1 in the top of the eighth. After Connie Mack singled with two outs, the desperate Resolutes lifted Clarkson for pinch hitter Jim O'Rourke, who popped out to end the inning. Now hard-throwing southpaw Rube Waddell would be tasked with shutting down the Legs in the bottom of the eighth. 

Waddell didn't miss many bats, so the Legs soon had opportunities to score. With men on first and second but two outs, the Legs opted to pinch hit for Spalding. The veteran had done his duty, tossing eight innings of one-run ball. Pinch hitter Frank Chance dug in and looked to extend his team's lead. He scorched Waddell's offering right up the middle to bring home another run. 

With a 4-1 edge in the ninth, the Legs had a decision to make. Now that Spalding was out, would they bring in regular closer Vic Willis, or that proud warrior, Old Hoss Radbourn? Radbourn had lost his last three starts against the Resolutes, including a 19-4 drubbing that has gone down in infamy as the most lopsided game in league history. Well, I do have a bit of a flair for drama, so of course I brought in Radbourn! This guy had a chip on his shoulder and wanted revenge. But...would he get it?

Facing the top of the order, Radbourn needed just three outs to secure the win. Hill grounded out, but the next batter, Hughie Jennings, hit a rocket to center field. Sam Crawford got a late jump and could only curse under his breath as the ball sailed over his head. Jennings had a standup double, and the Resolutes had at least a modicum of hope. Radbourn struck out Elmer Flick with ruthless efficiency, bringing up the visitors' best power hitter, first baseman Jake Beckley. The defending Position Player MVP, Beckley was looking to drive one over the right-field fence. Instead, he hit a lazy popup into the glove of Lajoie. For one night, at least, Radbourn had exorcised his demons.

Game 2 thus ended a 4-1 triumph for the Blue Legs. They now travel to the Resolutes' park needing just one win to claim the championship.

Friday, September 23, 2022

Creighton Cup Finals, Game 1

Playoff baseball! Does it get any better than this?! (Ask me again if the Yankees manage to win a ring this year...)

The Blue Legs hosted the Resolutes for Game 1 of the best-of-five Season 8 championship series. The story tonight was all about pitching. The Legs handed the ball to new ace Tim Keefe, acquired during the offseason for just this very purpose: to pitch this team to a championship and end their seven-year title drought. Opposing Keefe was Christy Mathewson, starting for the Resolutes in place of the injured John Clarkson. 

Keefe struck out Pete Hill to open the game, eliciting a hearty cheer from the Legs' long-suffering fans. The crowd fell silent a moment later, however, when Hughie Jennings drove one to the gap and hustled to third for a triple. He scored on Elmer Flick's sacrifice fly to give the visitors a 1-0 lead.

In the bottom of the first, Wee Willie Keeler led off with a single. Would he test the arm of Connie Mack, the league's best defensive catcher? Hell yes! Keeler swiped second and scurried home on Nap Lajoie's ensuing single. Keeler and Lajoie have been the Legs' one-two punch this season, so it wasn't surprising to see them manufacture their team's first run. 

After both teams drew blood in the opening frame, Keefe and Mathewson settled in for an old-fashioned pitcher's duel. Both men are classic strikeout pitchers, mixing velocity and movement to generate plenty of swings and misses. Mathewson in particular was masterful, complementing his heater with a maddening screwball that toyed with the Legs' hitters inning after inning.

We didn't see another run until the bottom of the eighth, when the Legs started to catch up to Mathewson's offerings. With two on and two out, Sam Crawford and Jimmy Collins hit back-to-back run-scoring singles to make it 3-1 for the home team. 

The Resolutes had one more chance in the top of the ninth. Although the Legs had closer Vic Willis ready to roll, Keefe came out to finish what he started. The visitors made him work for it. Frank Grant tripled to lead off, and then promptly came home on John McGraw's groundout. Down to the their last two outs and trailing by a run, the Resolutes sent Mack and pinch hitter Jim O'Rourke to the plate, but neither could reach base. The game ended 3-2 for the Blue Legs, who are now two wins away from breaking their championship curse!

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Championship Preview

We now bid farewell to the Haymakers and the Canaries, as our finalists for the Season 8 Creighton Cup will be the first-place Blue Legs and the second-place Resolutes. Storylines abound!

Legacy
The Blue Legs are suffering through the longest championship drought in the league; they won the inaugural Creighton Cup in Season 1, but haven't tasted the champagne of victory ever since, despite reaching the finals three more times before this year. The Resolutes, meanwhile, claimed their first title in Season 6 and have now reached the finals in three consecutive seasons; they're hoping to forge a dynasty and dethrone the Haymakers as the league's premiere franchise.

Rivalry
First of all, we've got a rematch of the epic Season 6 championship series. As chronicled on this blog in earlier posts, the Legs were leading two games to one in the best-of-five series, and then Christy Mathewson and John Clarkson tossed back-to-back shutouts -- eighteen straight scoreless innings! -- to lead the Resolutes to the championship. This season, the Resolutes humiliated the Blue Legs again with a 19-4 drubbing that ranks as the most lopsided victory in eight seasons of play. The Legs will be looking to avenge both of these historic failures here in the Season 8 finals.

Injuries
The Blue Legs lost more man-games to injury than any team in league history. At one point around midseason, it got so bad that backup shortstop Joe Tinker played left field because the Legs only had two healthy outfielders on their roster. The Resolutes were relatively healthy all year, except for speedy slugger Elmer Flick, who lost time to two separate injuries. Late in the season, key pitchers went down on both sides. Blue Legs hurler Al Spalding, tied for second in the league in wins this season, won't be available until Game 2, nor will the Resolutes' co-ace Clarkson. 

Offense & Defense
Before the season, the Legs traded for elite pitcher Tim Keefe, who quickly became their number-one starter. Even so, the team still finished last in runs allowed (3.92) and their porous defense was only marginally better than the perennially fielding-challenged Haymakers. What allowed the Blue Legs to claim first place was a league-leading 4.29 runs scored per game. As for the Resolutes, they ranked second in runs scored, second in runs allowed, and second in team defense -- no wonder they finished in second place!

Game 1 coming up this weekend!

Sunday, September 18, 2022

The Long Road to Victory

I don't think I've ever actually finished a game of Axis & Allies. Here at our house, we've certainly started quite a few, and we've played the shorter D-Day version to completion, but getting all the way to the end of a full game of Axis & Allies is no small feat. Over the past couple of months, Nathaniel has been chipping away at a solo game in which he played both sides. Yesterday, he mounted one final assault on Japan that ended the game in favor of the Allies. After admiring his work for a bit, he cleaned up the board and immediately set up the D-Day version!

Thursday, September 8, 2022

Warhammer Cafe

Today we crossed an item off my bucket list by taking the Warner Bros. studio tour in Burbank. I'm a lifelong, dyed-in-the-wool WB fan, so this place is the center of the entertainment universe as far as I'm concerned. After a very enjoyable day at the studio, we headed to nearby Monrovia to visit the one-of-a-kind Warhammer Cafe. 


It's a cool place! They have more inventory than a typical Games Workshop store, as well as some other nifty Warhammer stuff. The cafe menu is a bit limited, but we very much enjoyed our drinks and cookies. Highly recommended if you're ever passing through that area!




Space Race

Our first Catan Starfarers game was quite a space race, with all three of us staying within a few victory points of each other. I pulled ahead toward the end and came within a point of winning, which led Matthew to focus his efforts on spoiling my relationship with one of the four alien species. As Matthew tried to win by forging friendships with aliens, and I pivoted to building colonies, we both kind of lost track of Nathaniel, who quietly put himself in a position to terraform an ice world and build a colony, which gave him enough victory points to claim the win!

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Catan Starfarers

Matthew got Catan Starfarers for his birthday and our fledgling empires (I'm red, Matthew is white, and Nathaniel is blue) are just now beginning to push beyond our core systems (at the bottom of the photo) into the vast reaches space! Loving it so far!


Monday, September 5, 2022

Three-Way Tie

With a few days off from work, I'm making my way quickly through baseball games. Now at the midpoint of Season 8, the Canaries remain in the cellar at 3-9, but the other three teams -- the Blue Legs, Haymakers, and Resolutes -- are all tied for first place at 7-5. Most likely, two of these three teams will meet in the best-of-five Creighton Cup championship series. Which ones? All three are flawed. The Haymakers have a shoddy defense and their pitchers (aside from Cy Young and Amos Rusie) have been prone to meltdowns, the Resolutes are benefiting from the whims of good fortune (a .583 record but a run differential that suggests they should have a.489 winning percentage), and the Blue Legs are suffering through the worst stretch of injuries I've ever seen in a Strat-O-Matic season. With newly acquired ace Tim Keefe pitching like it's Season 2 again, the Blue Legs are perhaps the favorites, but will injuries completely derail their chances before the season's end?

Friday, September 2, 2022

Birds Grounded

Let's take a quick look at eight ballplayers:

  • Billy Hamilton (rf)
  • Ed Delahanty (lf)
  • Roger Connor (1b)
  • Honus Wagner (ss)
  • George Davis (3b)
  • Hugh Duffy (cf)
  • Buck Ewing (c)
  • George Wright (2b)

It's practically a "Who's Who" of nineteenth-century superstars. It's also the starting lineup of my Strat-O-Matic Canaries team, which is floating in the toilet with a 1-7 record and league-worst -8 run differential. Their offense (if you can call it that) is averaging 2.25 runs per game, which, despite the addition of the walk-happy Hamilton, is down significantly from last year's meager offering (2.88). These guys were no-hit on Opening Day and were shut out again last night. Although it's true that offense is down league-wide this season, and we're still talking about a very small sample size, I'm stunned by just how terribly the Canaries have hit. Even with some positive regression, I think the Canaries are in too deep of a hole to make a playoff run this season. Perhaps their luck will change in Season 9...